The 10 days that were!

This is the second time that I've been through the 10 day grind. It always has the characteristic of being challenging (to the point of being hellish) and great fun at the same time. At the end of it, you come out feeling wonderful and thanking the stars that you actually did it. First time it happened was last year during my business trip to Brussels. I took 10 days off and visited 7 cities in Western Europe (Amsterdam, Paris, Rome, Naples, Venice, Vienna and Berlin; see pics here), all by myself . If it sounds fun then it indeed was, but try doing that alone with an Indian salary in pocket and a Lonely Planet in hand. This time it was a life changing trip to Chennai!

I had heard a lot about Vipassana Meditation technique in recent past. Like a religion, it has followers in the tycoons and the planktons of this world. I had been looking for someone to teach me meditation for some time (I am stressed out like million others and have no shame in accepting it & trying to find a solution). I experimented with the Art of Living's 3-day paid course in my college days but could never appreciate the quasi-religious aspect it brings in. The fact that Vipassana was completely free of cost for a 10 day long residential course but has managed to thrive globally sounded very appealing to me. Then seeing its effects on my boss (whom I highly respect and admire) who is always calm in midst of chaos (he at least handles 10 times more than I do) was good enough to commit a significant chunk of my vacations this year and head to nearest full service center (i.e. Chennai).

I boarded the morning train from Bangalore to Chennai, met a close friend for lunch and with reasonable difficulty managed to take an auto to the center. The center, also called "Dhamma Setu" is located around 10 kms from Chennai Airport on the opposite side of civilization (after the course I was wondering if we are civilized at all). In the true tradition of Chennai autowalahs, the guy ripped me off (Rs.300 for some 20 kms) and there was nothing I could do other than question his piety (he showed all signs from tilak to rudraksh) point blank and make him feel a little guilty.

As soon as you enter the center, the feeling of tranquility sets in. It is like an oasis in the desert outside. You then head to the dining hall for registration. Outside is a BIG board with the code of discipline you are supposed to follow. Its a long list with numerous rules which you must internalize. Then you fill up a "new" student form and have a brief interview with an "old" student who tries to grill you on how many rules you actually remember. The basic idea is to check if this new ignorant enthusiast has what it takes to complete the whole thing. Of course everyone utters an emphatic Yes and they believe you unless you are a real loser when it comes to human interactions. You are then supposed to deposit all your valuable stuff in the lockers and head to your allotted room. To my surprise, the rooms were really great and clean. Much better than our dormitory in college. Due to Chennai heat, not many people opted to come and so luckily I got a the double room to myself (which I generally prefer).

Later you are served a light meal (really light) and briefed about what you can expect during the next 10 days. They make a good attempt but as I realized, nothing can prepare you for that. Later you are given a little more gyaan and your vow of silence comes into effect. For th next 9 days, you are not supposed to talk in any language (including sign) to fellow meditators. You can only talk to center staff (all are volunteers actually) or your teacher. This seems tough but I again realized that this become least of your worries (actually bliss) later on during the course.

Now the course. Let me give you an idea of the time table. Only close rival seems to what people go through in a military training

4 am : Wake up
4:30 - 6:30 am : Meditate
6:30 - 8:00 am : Breakfast and Rest
8:00 - 11:00 am : Meditate
11:00 am - 1:00 pm : Lunch and Rest
1:00 - 5:00 pm : Meditate
5:00 - 6:00 pm : Snack and Rest
6:00 - 9:00 pm : Meditate and listen to Discourse
9:30 pm : Sleep

As you can realize, you have 12 working hours a day and you are supposed to follow this very seriously. The last proper meal of the day is at 11 am and at 5 pm you only get a banana and little puffed rice. So basically you are hungry to almost hungry throughout the day. It is difficult for initial couple of days. Later you loose the craving and become very comfortable with this actually.

The Cleansing Process

I would say that the entire thing is a cleansing process where you are trying to clear up all the physical and mental (specially) garbage you have been collecting since time immemorial. The first three days are specially painful. Before they can teach you the main technique of Vipassana, they introduce you to the technique of Aana-Pana meditation. You are supposed to observe your natural breath with all your concentration. And this is the time when reality strikes! At my office entrance there is a quote from Geeta which goes something like this - "Mind is obstinate and turbulent. To control it is more difficult than controlling the wind". It just appeared so true. With hours of practice, it was still almost impossible to keep the focus for a minute's time. The idea here is to completely unsettle the mind and make it do what it doesn't want to - Focus. You can feel the mind playing games with you. It throws all your past deep hidden memories in quick succession and ventures unchecked into the future. And given that you are also fighting hunger and body pain at the same time, the whole thing doesn't seem very pleasant. This is also the time when most people leave the course mid way. The reactions of mind and body are too overwhelming for the weak at heart. But the idea is to keep breathing..........

Once the three day hurdle is over your mind is much calmer as its mutiny has been suppressed. No communication is also a key factor in achieving this tranquility. It's a feeling that I had never in life before. But later you realize that its only one of the "firsts" that you witnessed. By now you are ready to learn the technique the Vipassana. From respiration, you turn your attention to the entire body. The idea here is to try to feel the different sensations you are experiencing (there are sensations in every part of your body all the time whether you are aware of it or not). You start with experiencing the very gross sensations initially and that itself is a revelation. Your mind progressively gets trained and sharper to pick up the subtle sensations at some parts of the body. Some people can feel the energy flow from head to toes and back within the 10 day period. However, this is no competition. Everybody's mind is differently equipped and time taken for these experiences vary from people to people. The idea is to train you to the extent that you can continue to practice in the right fashion and get benefited overtime.

Vipassana is very different from any of the techniques I've heard about or tried in the past. It is completely free from any religion, sectarianism, and mysticism. Your mind and body is at the center of the process rather than a deity or a verbalization. It is a process of self discovery. The technique was discovered by Gautam Buddha where he clearly understood the connection of body and mind and how to use it to free yourself from the shackles of the habits which got formed without your knowledge and control. At the core of it is the concept of Impermanence. You might understand at an intellectual level that nothing lasts forever but every time we come across any situation/object, we automatically label it as pleasant or unpleasant. There is a long drawn process involved in this labeling exercise and with time if mind is left unchecked, the sensations of craving and aversion grow stronger and becomes addictive. We all suffer from this kind of addiction to varying degrees. Vipassana helps you to experience this impermanence through body sensations and how you can be equanimous towards both pleasant and unpleasant ones. If you can maintain this equanimity, the mind automatically starts getting rid of its old habits and you start looking at things more objectively. After all, the literal meaning of Vipassana is seeing things as they are, not as you would like them to be.

Another big thing you end up learning that only you are the cause of your own misery and happiness. How many times one feels that someone else caused misery to him/her and end up becoming more miserable? How many times one feels that the only source of happiness is to be able to please someone? Slowly you realize that its your responsibility to create a positive environment around yourself so that everyone who comes in contact with you is left with that calmness and you end up feeling satisfied.

There are some annoyances and discomforts that one has to go through these 10 days. My choice of timing and place was not completely wise. Going to Chennai in this weather was a bad idea. Because the facilities are very basic in nature, you have to make do with fans which don't really help. During meditation the fans disturb you and its an oven without them. Although, with time you stop reacting to the heat but it takes time. The practice of Adithana is the most feared and uncomfortable out of everything you experience. Three times a day during meditation hours, you sit in a posture most comfortable to you. Then you promise yourself that you won't open your legs, hands, and eyes for the next one hour. Boy, that HURTS! You can feel the heat circulating throughout your legs. Initially even 30 mins is a nightmare but by the end of the course I could do that without much discomfort. At times you reach a state when the pain completely disappears because after all its all in the mind and you have managed to cut through it.

Coming back to pleasant experiences, the staff at the center(s) are a great bunch of people. Only old students can serve during the course and they do a marvelous job at it. Its a completely voluntary thing to do and they receive nothing in return. They will keep up with you even when you are trying to act tough. The technique has slowly transformed them into loving and compassionate beings who find it very difficult to feel ill about anyone very quickly. When you have achieved the state that the technique is pushing you towards, all your feelings of animosity and hatred towards others melt away (think Buddha). The best part of the course are the evening discourses by Guruji, Acharya S.N.Goenka. We get to see him only on TV but he still connects with you. Having practiced and taught this technique for past 50 odd years, he seems to know exactly whats going on in your head. His style of story telling and explaining the nuances of the training is very refreshing and enjoyable. You cannot help generating a massive amount of respect for him and all the people involved to spread this movement and trying to make the world a better place to live in. A world free of any communal and ill feelings. A world where every being is respected and loved unconditionally.

Thank you for reading this ultra long post. I could go on and on about what I experienced and still won't be able to communicate in writing or orally. You will have to go there and experience it yourself. The only thing it demands is your time and dedication. The only money you need to spend is for the travel to and from the center nearest to you. I would strongly recommend you to make this investment in yourself. If you stay there for 10 days (and not run away in the middle) and still feel unsatisfied with what you learnt and experienced, please send me your travel receipts. I'll send you a cheque of an equivalent amount.

Be Happy. Be peaceful.