Something somewhere seems to be seriously wrong!
Another faith-based index to be launched
Friday, February 22, 2008
Sunday, February 10, 2008
The Big Fat Indian Wedding
I haven't really seen the Hollywood flick ridiculing (I guess) the Greek affair, however I'm quite sure that once its director witnesses in an Indian wedding he would like to undo his past work and steal my title for his evolved work. Since I came back from Japan, I've seen a number of my friends succumbing to this social phenomena. They are simply dropping as electrocuted flies into the abyss of this sacred relationship. What worries me is not the fact that these are the same guys I used to go to school with 20 years back (5 years for the college mates) and we used to share the same tiffin, run around with water bottles hanging from our necks and played hand cricket (no bats basically) using trees as stumps. The fact that soon they are going to be parents and that they want to show off the new relationship in public with great fanfare disturbs me somewhere deep down. I'll try not to comment on my first concern because the propagation of species is at stake. However would like to take a dig on the great Indian tradition of weddings.
I'm not sure if marriage used to be a big deal in old times. My parents tell me that not long ago (say 50 years back) it used to be a rather silent affair. Probably due to communication problems it was difficult to be in touch with all your relatives and you would contend with a small ceremony (also given low budgets) inviting a few people. With income levels rising and communication links in place, the whole thing seems to have gone out of proportion. The wedding now beyond anything has become a showcase of opulence. What strikes me most is the ability of Indians to make such mundane things larger than life and completely ignore the life threatening issues (environment, poverty, population etc.). Again let me not dwelve into it much because this demands a much deeper philosophical debate. Let me just describe some observations I had from the last week in which I completed the brave feet of attending 4 weddings!
Weddings @ Small cities
These wedding ceremonies are a little comfortable than their big city counterparts. Though the duration of the wedding (min of 4 days) and non-availability of alcohol doesn't give much respite but the smaller size of gatherings and conservative decorations are a relief. The most interesting part by any measure is the baarat. Nobody (from highly educated to a complete illiterate) shows any shame in taking the procession to the road and block the traffic. Forget about small lanes, people don't even care a bit blocking the national highway! Surprisingly the traffic also doesn't mind. The horns which go ablaze during a signal go totally silent and give way to the procession. I'm not sure what goes on in the mind of drivers (another one bites the dust OR it only happens once in a lifetime OR the final moments of happiness etc.) but they sure do not seem to mind. Rest all goes on as normal. Bride and groom are starved till midnight. They have to keep standing and pass artificial smiles while people (most of whom don't even know the couple and vice versa) keep coming on the stage and getting archived on the film. The real action starts only after midnight when the real ceremony starts and all that remains is a handful of close relatives and friends. On a lucky day everything will get over by 6 am because the pundit and the couple have decided to co-operate and turn a deaf ear to everything the learned man has to say. Only one thing is on everybody's mind. When the hell is it going to get over! Strangely enough, things have been happening and will keep happening the same way.
Weddings @ Big cities
Now by big cities I mean Delhi! Delhi weddings are famous globally for their grandeur. Unfortunately I also had a chance this time to attend the great mockery. This particular wedding was one of the 10 odd weddings happening in a ground in East Delhi. Understandably there would be traffic and parking problems. Voila! you simply need to get down on the gate, hand over the car keys to the guard and enjoy the valet parking facility. The bar is right at the entrance to prepare you for exciting times ahead. On another corner the stage is set ablaze by skimply clad women dancing on item numbers. The groom arrives on a rath instead of the more common place mare. The cabaret gives way to holy chanting by a dozen of pundits on the stage. The bride arrives on a doli triggering a mujra on the dance stage. The chanting restarts as the couple get ready to garland each other. Suddenly the stage elevates and rotates a couple of complete circles and the couple throws flying kisses at the crowd. A few thousand people have a graced the occassion and there is enough food to just fill you up with smell. Punjabi, Rajasthani, Italian, Chinese etc. You name it and they have it. Pure vegetarian though. As you get out of this rucus, you have a 100 kind of mouth fresheners lined up at the gate. Phewww....I guess you get the idea. Later I was told that this was a reasonably mellowed down version of THE BIG FAT DELHI WEDDING which for sure I don't want to attend now.
The only word I can think of describing all this is "Vulgar"! It might be difficult for people to be sensitive towards the less fortunate people but this shows complete insensitivity. I hope to see my generation change this ridiculous way of doing things and keep weddings a very personal and small affair which it rightly deserves to be.
I'm not sure if marriage used to be a big deal in old times. My parents tell me that not long ago (say 50 years back) it used to be a rather silent affair. Probably due to communication problems it was difficult to be in touch with all your relatives and you would contend with a small ceremony (also given low budgets) inviting a few people. With income levels rising and communication links in place, the whole thing seems to have gone out of proportion. The wedding now beyond anything has become a showcase of opulence. What strikes me most is the ability of Indians to make such mundane things larger than life and completely ignore the life threatening issues (environment, poverty, population etc.). Again let me not dwelve into it much because this demands a much deeper philosophical debate. Let me just describe some observations I had from the last week in which I completed the brave feet of attending 4 weddings!
Weddings @ Small cities
These wedding ceremonies are a little comfortable than their big city counterparts. Though the duration of the wedding (min of 4 days) and non-availability of alcohol doesn't give much respite but the smaller size of gatherings and conservative decorations are a relief. The most interesting part by any measure is the baarat. Nobody (from highly educated to a complete illiterate) shows any shame in taking the procession to the road and block the traffic. Forget about small lanes, people don't even care a bit blocking the national highway! Surprisingly the traffic also doesn't mind. The horns which go ablaze during a signal go totally silent and give way to the procession. I'm not sure what goes on in the mind of drivers (another one bites the dust OR it only happens once in a lifetime OR the final moments of happiness etc.) but they sure do not seem to mind. Rest all goes on as normal. Bride and groom are starved till midnight. They have to keep standing and pass artificial smiles while people (most of whom don't even know the couple and vice versa) keep coming on the stage and getting archived on the film. The real action starts only after midnight when the real ceremony starts and all that remains is a handful of close relatives and friends. On a lucky day everything will get over by 6 am because the pundit and the couple have decided to co-operate and turn a deaf ear to everything the learned man has to say. Only one thing is on everybody's mind. When the hell is it going to get over! Strangely enough, things have been happening and will keep happening the same way.
Weddings @ Big cities
Now by big cities I mean Delhi! Delhi weddings are famous globally for their grandeur. Unfortunately I also had a chance this time to attend the great mockery. This particular wedding was one of the 10 odd weddings happening in a ground in East Delhi. Understandably there would be traffic and parking problems. Voila! you simply need to get down on the gate, hand over the car keys to the guard and enjoy the valet parking facility. The bar is right at the entrance to prepare you for exciting times ahead. On another corner the stage is set ablaze by skimply clad women dancing on item numbers. The groom arrives on a rath instead of the more common place mare. The cabaret gives way to holy chanting by a dozen of pundits on the stage. The bride arrives on a doli triggering a mujra on the dance stage. The chanting restarts as the couple get ready to garland each other. Suddenly the stage elevates and rotates a couple of complete circles and the couple throws flying kisses at the crowd. A few thousand people have a graced the occassion and there is enough food to just fill you up with smell. Punjabi, Rajasthani, Italian, Chinese etc. You name it and they have it. Pure vegetarian though. As you get out of this rucus, you have a 100 kind of mouth fresheners lined up at the gate. Phewww....I guess you get the idea. Later I was told that this was a reasonably mellowed down version of THE BIG FAT DELHI WEDDING which for sure I don't want to attend now.
The only word I can think of describing all this is "Vulgar"! It might be difficult for people to be sensitive towards the less fortunate people but this shows complete insensitivity. I hope to see my generation change this ridiculous way of doing things and keep weddings a very personal and small affair which it rightly deserves to be.
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